Friday, 22 February 2013


Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA

When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba

You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA 

You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA 

You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA 

You and the Oracle DBA would happily fight off a developer together #youmightbeaDBA 

You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA 

You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA 

You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA 

Your girlfriend knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA 

You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA 

You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA 

You call cigarettes "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA 

You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA 

You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA 

You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA 

You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA 

You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA 

You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA 

Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA 

The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA 

You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA 

You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA 

You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA 

You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA 

You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA 

You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA

You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA 

You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA 

Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA

You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA 

When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA 

When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA 

When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA 

Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA 

The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA

Your home computer is backed up in 2 different places #youmightbeaDBA 

If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA 

The late-night security guard knows the names of your town. #youmightbeaDBA 

You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA 

You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA 

You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA 

When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA 

hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for dinner is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator" 

If you're up at midnight commenting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA 

I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA 

when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba 

Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA 

you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA

You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA 

You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA 

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